Did you ever notice when you are talking about a women’s virtues we talk about how organized she is or how well she does something? When we talk about the virtues of a man we talk about all the negatives things that he does NOT do!
Overheard conversations between girlfriends include things like well he does not drink too much or he does not gamble or he never cheated on me. Why do we never look at a man and be a bit more critical? Do we just settle for less than we should not to be alone?
Most of us take on far more than we should and that unfortunately sets the pace for the future of the relationship.
Not sure what the real numbers look like but would say that the number of girlfriends and wives that are responsible for buying birthday gifts and cards are relatively high. It would also be a fair estimation to say that most females are responsible for buying holiday presents and doing all the planning.
Ultimately at the end of the day if you find yourself in this position and you are tired of carrying that load than you need to make some changes in the right direction to share some of that load with your beloved. Spread the cheer and make him responsible for his share of gift giving etiquette.
Many men will do and say whatever it takes to get out of holiday shopping for family members. Frankly no one wants to deal with crowds and trying to find the perfect gift so you cannot really blame them but that does not excuse a lack of participation.
Put your foot down at the start of the season! It is the holidays for you too and you need to set limits. Ideally you are at the start of your relationship so you can set the limits early on but even if you are fifteen years or more in you can still say “this is the year I do not have to do it all”.
Make a list of everyone that will be expecting a gift from your family (or coupleship) and tear each name off the list and put it in a hat.
Divide up the number of people you will be buying for and each of you pull X amount of names out of the hat. You can be the bigger person if you insist by grabbing the extra name if you are buying for an odd number of people.
Set the limit on the amount of money you will spend on gifts and head out shopping. It is the fairest way to do things! Take no excuses and don’t make any excuses!
Don’t stop at the shopping list.
Feel free to use the hat for all the holiday chores that need to get done so that everyone (including you) can have a great holiday AND time to relax!