Whether you’ve just started dating someone or you’re in a long-term relationship, it can be tempting to set friends up or discuss their private lives. While you may be open with your friends, there are some things that you should never say. Getting too private can seem condescending and you run the risk of losing your friends for good.
Anything to Do with Online Dating
You may have found the love of your life through online dating, but that doesn’t mean your friend wants to try it. Yes, there are benefits, but you want to stay away from anything that involves this topic. While you think you’re helping, you’re friend sees it that she’s not good enough without someone else in her life. Of course, if she brings it up as a subject, feel free to chat away about it.
You may tell her that she’s being picky or is too hard to please, but that isn’t going to help her. She’ll feel hurt that you think that way. This is her life, and she wants to find Mr. Right. If you actually ask her about your must-haves when it came to dating, she may have thought you weren’t picky enough. The last thing you want is her upsetting you by telling you your man isn’t good enough.
Asking About an Ex
You may have loved her ex-boyfriend, but there was a reason why they broke up. Sometimes the breakups aren’t because your friend wanted to end the relationship. Why bring up a past relationship, unless she is the one who starts the conversation about it?
The Marriage Question
Happily married women expect everyone to be in the same situation as them. They start asking their friends when they’re getting married, or why they aren’t married yet. Even those with boyfriends will find these questions hurtful and annoying. The choice of marriage isn’t always their fault. Their boyfriends may not have popped the question yet, or they may be going through difficult periods in their relationships.
Talking About Getting Out There
There is a common feeling that single women aren’t going everything they can to meet someone. A friend may comment on them being in the home all the time, or constantly at work. The problem is that you don’t see your friend all the time. You don’t know how actively she is looking for someone, or whether she even wants to find a man to add to her life. If you’re trying to get her to meet a friend you have, encourage her to come to a party by telling her that there’s someone you’d like her to meet.
This is a big no-no. You don’t want to mention age, even if you mean it as a compliment. Saying “you’re still young”, is like saying, “you’re getting on a bit and time is running out”; you may not mean it that way, but it’s how it comes across. The best thing you can do is stay away from the age factor completely, unless she asks for your opinion; and then, tread carefully.