Fairytales give this unrealistic view that once you’re in a relationship your life is easy. That’s really not the case. Just like finding Mr. Right is hard, keeping him is just as bad. You both need to work at your relationship and it can become difficult at times. However, difficult relationships are often worth working at and saving. Here are some tips to help you do that.
Respect Goes a Long Way
You need to respect each other if you want your relationship to work. You both need time apart and have different decisions to make in life. He may not make the decision you wanted, but it is his choice in the end. This can be difficult to give and it is a two way street.
Communicate With Each Other
Find out what is bothering him and really listen to his problems; he needs to do the same. Part of this comes back to respect. If you respect each other, you’ll communicate much better. If you find you start shouting over each other, stop talking and walk away to cool down.
Find Out What Works
There will be certain things in your relationship that work better than others. No couple is the same, and you need to work out what works just for you.
It’s fine talking to your friends about it and getting suggestions, but don’t try to force their suggestions to work for you. As you find what works, keep doing it and your relationship will start to get easier.
Know the Signs You’re Pushing Your Luck
There are signs in every relationship that you’re crossing a boundary. The trick is to work out what those signs are and know when to stop. It could be that he’s had a bad day but doesn’t want to talk about it yet or you’re just not happy but not ready to open up why. If you push each other to talk, you’ll get agitated and it will lead to an argument.
Accept that It Is Difficult
You need to accept that your relationship is a difficult one. Once you accept it, you’ll stop fighting against it. Accepting it will also help you determine whether it is worth continuing or whether you need to move on.
It doesn’t mean you have to let it continue in a downward spiral. Accepting it will give you the tools you need to keep working at making it easier for the two of you.
Accept that You’re Different
It’s also important to accept that you are two different people. Enjoy those differences. They make you who you are. You can’t change him and he can’t change you.
If you were both the same, life would get extremely boring. However, you need to decide when those differences are too much for the relationship to work.