You possibly have a health secret hidden away deep down there, and you may want to keep it that way from your new partner for now. There’s nothing wrong with this as long as it isn’t going to harm or affect him in some way. However, eventually you will need to tell him. Here are some tips to tell your partner your health secret without him freaking out.
Ask a friend or family member who knows your secret to help you practise with them. You can go through the questions he may have and rehearse the way you will give the answers.
It’s really easy to just blurt out something without considering the consequences. Your friend or family member will be there to help cut down the chances of that happening.
There are certain things you will need to say on the first date. However, there is a lot more that you can keep for later. It all depends on how much it affects your day-to-day living, and whether it changes something happening on the first date.
When it comes to telling him something right away, think about how much you really need to tell him and what you can save for later.
It’s important to try and keep this conversation casual, but you also need to make it clear that it is a big deal for you.
Tell him that you believe the relationship is worth it, or that you value him in some way. As he realises you believe he is worth it, he is going to think twice about rejecting you because of your secret.
When you do tell him, you want to stay away from anywhere intimate. It will cloud his view of intimacy with you in the future.
Another benefit of doing it somewhere neutral is that either of you can walk away easily if necessary. Try a park, a quiet restaurant or while taking a walk somewhere peaceful.
There is some benefit to doing your dating online. This part of the discussion can be done through emails and instant messaging. You can really think about how to word your health secret, and put everything down before he tries to interrupt you.
If you’re not online dating, it could still be worth doing the initial bit online, although you want to wait until you see him to drop the whole bombshell.
Your secret could be a major thing for him to handle. He may want some space to be able to process it all. Let him have that space if he requests it.
Be understanding, and think about how you would react if it was the other way. You could practise the different reactions with your friends to make sure you know what to say whatever he decides to do.