There are many reasons for people to get a divorce. One of those is due to growing apart, while another is where there is fault on one party. The answer to the question of whether it is time to get a divorce depends on the situation and your mutual feelings. Here are some things to consider.
Could the marriage be saved or is it really at the end? You need to be honest with each other when it comes to this.
If both of you think that there is a chance of saving it, there really could be an option. However, if both of you agree that the marriage has come to an end, it really could be the time to think about divorce.
There are times that one spouse wants a divorce, while the other wants to work on things. Depending on other circumstances, a divorce may not yet be the best option.
If there are chances that the marriage could be worked on, a separation may be the better option. Some couples choose a trial separation to see how it will affect the family and whether there are chances they could work it out.
Talk to each other about why the marriage is breaking down? If there is one person at fault, maybe due to an affair, you need to discuss your feelings like mature adults.
If neither is at fault, you need to talk about why the marriage has become stale and what the problem is. A divorce is not always the best option, especially if you know the problem and can work on it.
You may not want to get divorced, but believe it is the only option. It is worth talking about why you should stay together. Many parents believe that the children are the only reason, but that is not the case.
If the children are the only reason to stay together, but there is nothing that can be worked out, they will resent you if you struggle through.
You will still need to consider how the family is affected by the divorce. This is when a trial separation is a good idea. It gives everyone a chance to understand the consequences and make changes to lives to counter the problem.
For example, one parent may have relied on the other to pick the children up from school, which may not be possible with both parents now having to work.
Before you draw an end to the marriage, consider counselling. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it could for you. It gives you a chance to have a mediator so you can openly discuss your problems.
It also gives you someone to offer advice, whether you opt for individual sessions, couples therapy, or whole family counselling to get to the root of the problem.