There are some really wrong ideas we grow up with concerning love and marriage. Women are fed the Cinderella story and other fairy tales when we are young. Of course with the changing times those happy every after stories do not hold as much weight as they did but they are typically our very first love stories.
These tales may not be the way we consciously look at love and relationships but they are still buried deeply in our sub conscious. It is the way many women would like things to work out. The prince shows up and whisks us away pledging never ending love. Well the divorce rate is right around 60% right now so that is not happening for a lot of ladies.
We are led to believe that there is one right partner, a soul mate so to speak so when things don’t work out with that “soul mate” it kind of leaves a lot of women scratching their heads in wonder.
The reality is there are a lot of “right partners”. It is all about the give and take. Some potential partners may be lacking in one area while others lack in another. What it really comes down to is redeeming qualities. Finding Mr. Right often happens when you are hanging out with Mr. Right Now!
You have to put yourself out there and weed out the Mr. Right now’s until you find the partner that you can make a life with. Waiting around for Mr. or Ms. Right can leave you awful lonely.
A lot of people really believe that when you get hitched you and your partner become one entity. That is very far from the truth. You do not become one entity, you become two entities that share one life.
Keeping that in mind means that you have to know your boundaries. Yes even in marriage there should be some boundaries.
Your wants do not have to be your partner’s wants and vice versa, compromise and in some cases simply losing and giving in is all a part of a good marriage.
People treat their business associates with far more respect sometimes than they do their spouses. Any partnership requires that each partner has the space to grow and change as they see fit.
Sometimes being apart for short periods is good for a relationship but sometimes it is just too much stress on a relationship. Studies have shown that proximity plays a big role in the success of a relationship.
Commitments can easily become strained the longer the periods of absence are (which likely accounts for the super high divorce rate among military members).
The common belief when something goes downhill in a relationship that it is a test of the love in a relationship. Love does not have to be tested either it is or it is not. Either you are being treated the way you expect to be treated or you are not.
Keeping your prospective real will help you to avoid some heart aches!