Fighting with a partner is common. There are going to be disagreements and any couple that says they don’t have arguments are lying. While they are common, there are some things that you should say during an argument. These common mistakes can lead to the end of your relationship.
Don’t bring up previous arguments, even if they’re on the same subject. He will have forgotten all about it, believing that you’d both moved on from it. This is a fresh argument and you need to keep that.
If something he has said is eating away at you, take a step away from the situation and have a break to get over it. If you can’t, discuss it with him as grownups instead of arguing.
A bad day at work, an argument with your mother or the children being pests for the day; all of these are excuses for an argument. Avoid using them because he’ll feel like you’re taking your frustrations out on him instead of the person/people who you should be.
That doesn’t mean bottle it all up though. Talk to him and express your feelings instead of getting angry at the slightest thing.
If you don’t mean it, don’t apologise. You may be in the wrong to him but just saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t bring an end to the argument for the right reason. It tells him that you’re not interested.
If you want to bring an end to the argument, you could ask to take a break and spend some time apart to think about it—maybe an hour or so to clear your head. Then you can revisit the discussion.
Now that you’ve had time to cool off, you need to let him revisit it. If you don’t, you’re making it clear that you don’t care about his feelings.
It may be a small point for you or even annoying but it is a major point for him, especially if he wants to talk about it again. Let him share his feelings and listen to him. That shows him that you do care.
Stop focusing on the argument and the reason for it. Focus your energies elsewhere. Dwelling on the argument is not going to be healthy.
It stops you from moving on about it and it will get to the point where you have the same argument again. He will move on and accept that you’ve discussed it and you should too.
Remember that arguments are a natural part of being in a relationship. Don’t worry too much that you’ve had an argument; many couples do when it is their first one.
Instead, focus on the good things about the relationship and how you got over this little bump. When two people come together there are likely going to be disagreements. You’re not the same person!