If you know an introvert, you may be used to his or her actions throughout the day. However, there are certain aspects of their lives that they don’t let you into. They’re not sure how to get their point across, and their personality style doesn’t really allow them to speak out. Here are six things introverts really need you to know, and hope that you will understand.
Crowds Are Not a Favourite
Introverts hate crowds. They have to be sociable and confident; two things they are likely not. It doesn’t even need to be big crowds! Just a room of six people or so can lead to feeling dizzy and cause a drop in their moods.
They like to be on their own now and then, and enjoy solitude for a few hours at a time.
Small-Talk Isn’t Easy or Fun
Asking about the weather or talking about their day isn’t something they want to do.
Small-talk doesn’t come easy to an introvert, and it isn’t fun to do either! This is why certain types of events are difficult for them. They may not be able to handle cocktail parties without the awkward silences in between.
They Like Living Online
Online is a great way for introverts to meet people. There is no need to physically get out and network.
They get to hide behind a computer screen, where they have time to think about what they say and the arguments they put across. This isn’t being anti-social. It is simply working towards their personality traits.
They Prefer to Write Things Down
Introverts are not likely to put their feelings across in words. This is a major thing for them, and can lead to anxiety. Their preferred way of communicating is through words. They may prefer to send an email or a text to arrange a meet-up.
They could prefer to rant on Facebook than to the face of the person who has done something. Please understand that writing things down helps them get their feelings across just as effectively as speaking.
Networking Isn’t Something They Want to Do
Networking events mean doing a few of their least favourite things at the same time. They need to deal with crowds, talk to people face-to-face and make small-talk.
None of this is fun to an introvert, and he or she would often prefer to crawl under a rock. Networking online on the other hand will be much easier to deal with, and can be a fun time.
They Not Shy People
At no point does being an introvert make someone shy. They may not like talking to someone face-to-face, but they can still hold their own in a forum, through an email or even in a text battle. Introverts are also not rude because they like to spend time alone.
They need this alone time to be able to recharge and get ready for the next networking event or crowd they need to face. They also need the time to recover from the last experience.
How to Appreciate Life
Sometimes it’s hard to look past the negatives. You can lose the beauty of the life around you. Therapists will help you look past the bad and see the good.
It is possible to start appreciating life around you, and feel grateful for everything that has happened; yes, even the bad. You’ll walk out of the office with a better view of the things happening to you.
See How Strong You Are
The bad things in life happen for a reason. They make you stronger, and help you deal with future negative things. You’ll also appreciate the good more.
This is something that a great therapist will help you with. Instead of getting over the bad, great therapists will help you use the negatives to your advantage. You’ll see the lessons learned and just how strong you really are.
Everything Needs to be Put Into Context
You think someone’s bad behaviour is because they hate you or want to hurt others. However, there may be something else deep down.
Therapists can help you understand that. They will help you put everything into context, and give you the tools to do that yourself after your sessions. It can really help you understand others a lot more.
Create Your Own Solutions
Everyone deals with situations differently. The solution for one person is not right for another, and not always right for you. A great therapist understands that.
He will suggest solutions to try, but will want you to create your own positive solutions to your problems. He’ll discuss your feelings and the outcomes from solutions that have worked for others, which will help you develop your own.
You Don’t Fail at Anything
Failure isn’t a bad thing. In fact, you don’t fail at anything; you just gain lessons that you learn from in the future.
Therapists encourage you to try. You may not quite succeed, but they then help you learn the lessons and implement solutions to the problems the next time you try. Great therapists make it clear that the only thing worse than not succeeding is not trying at all.
You Deserve Happiness
Everyone deserves to be happy in life, but it’s easy to forget all that. Great therapists will focus on that point, and help you on your path for happiness. When you stumble along the way, your therapist will hold your hand (metaphorically) and guide you back onto the path for happiness.
However, a great therapist will also focus on the fact that everyone deserves happiness, so will encourage you to find solutions and answers that don’t negatively affect those around you.
]]>You Gain a Positive Reputation
When you’re honest, people will trust you to do the things you say. That doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover and give into requests. It just means that when you say you’ll do something or won’t do something, you stick to that. It’s not just about telling the truth.
You need to stick to your morals and not sell yourself out for whatever price tag. You get a good reputation and more people want to have you on their team.
You’re a Better Person Overall
Wouldn’t you love to know that you’re a good person? What about a better person than that? Integrity brings all that. You know right from wrong, and you’re willing to follow the path of the righteousness.
The best part of this is you don’t feel the need to brag. The thought of being a better person is enough to put a smile on your face.
You’ll Be Happier
Knowing you’re following a positive path will help you become a happier person overall. Think about how great you feel knowing you’ve been helpful, done the right thing or stuck to your morals when everyone else has given in.
You’ll also be happier because you’ll have more people around you who want to be there because of you!
Your Boss Loves You
Okay, so there are times that morals get in the way of work depending on your area of work.
However, the majority of the time integrity will make your boss love you. He knows who to trust and rely on. This puts you in a position to receive the next promotion in the office, and even gain bonuses for your hard work and great values.
People Love You
People in your life will love you. Your family knows where they stand and whether they can trust you. Your spouse will have more faith in you, and know mistakes like forgetting to do the dishes are just mistakes.
You will have many more people in your life who love you just for who you are, and not what you can give them.
You Stay Out of Trouble
Integrity keeps you out of trouble. Sure, you may find you end up in a negative position at first, but in the long run you will have the best position in life.
Those without integrity sell themselves out, or end up in jail. You will be surrounded by people who will help pick you up after initial disappointments and then you can focus on the good things in life. You’ll also find honest solutions to problems.
]]>Friendly, Fun but Steady
Guys want someone who is fun and friendly, but they also need to know that that girl won’t run away. They want someone who wants adventure, while looking for a steady relationship. The two can go together. The trick is to show that you’re spontaneous when you have the opportunity, but will put real life first when it is really necessary.
Honesty and Truthfulness
Men need to know that their women are honest. They want someone who they can trust when they’re apart and know that they are always there to support them.
Guys also need to know that their girlfriends are going to tell them the truth and be open and blunt about situations. Masking the feelings or trying to subtly tell a man something is not going to work!
Loyalty at All Times
A guy doesn’t want to question where his girlfriend’s loyalty lies. This isn’t just about cheating, although that does come into it. A man needs to know that you will always stand by him and support him during times of trouble.
He doesn’t want to fear telling you something and then for that secret to be spread everywhere. A man also looks for someone who is going to be there when he makes a mistake.
Confidence to Go It Alone
The last thing a guy wants to feel is that you’re only with him due to lack of confidence. He wants to know that you’re with him because you really want to be with him.
But confidence to go it alone is so much more than that. He doesn’t want a girlfriend who is clingy and needy. While he wants to spend time with you, he always wants to spend time with his friends and have a life away from you.
Independence to Stand Alone
Confidence brings independence. Guys look for women who can work on their own and know how to support themselves. Independence tells a guy that you’re not with him for one thing (his money) and you really do love him.
While this is more common for those with a lot of money, any guy wants to know that you have the ability to stand alone if you really need to—not that he wants you to!
Love for Others
When a guy is thinking about the future, children are often in that future. Guys look for girls who love others and have the ability to care for them.
He wants to know that you will get on with his parents and siblings and will be able to take care of your children together.
]]>He Wants You to be Honest
Men want a woman who is going to be honest with them in their relationship. He doesn’t want to constantly ask if you’re lying about who you spent last night with or whether you’re really going on that holiday with your girlfriends.
The best way you can show you’re honest is by not playing hard to get and telling him what you want.
You Need to be Friendly
While he still wants fun and sexy, he also wants someone who is friendly.
He wants to know that he can feel happy with you for the rest of his life, and that you’re going to care for him in the future. However, he still wants someone fun and who will make him laugh!
Someone Who Will be Loyal
This works with the honesty factor. He wants someone that he can trust throughout the relationship. That means he doesn’t want you flirting with others, at least in front of him!
If he constantly questions whether you’re going to come home to him, he’s going to start looking for other woman to spend the rest of his life with. The last thing you want is him wondering when you’re going to hurt him.
He Wants a Good Time
He wants to be able to have a good time with you, and that doesn’t just mean in the bedroom. He wants someone he can have a laugh with and someone who’s not afraid to be daring.
He wants to be able to hang out with you in the house and go out on dates that don’t make him keep looking at his watch for when it will end.
He Needs to Know You Care for Him
When he tells you there’s a problem or when he wants to open up to you, he wants to feel secure that you’re not going to make fun of him.
It can be really difficult for men to open up and express their feelings, but that doesn’t stop him from needing a girlfriend who really does care for him.
It also means he wants to feel like you care how simply things have been, like how his day has been.
Someone He Can Protect
It’s a human instinct for men to want to protect their women. They want to feel like you need them, although not too much! When you say you need them, they also want to feel like it is genuine.
It could be opening up about something in your past, or something as simply like fixing something in your home.
You need to be careful about how needy you seem—constantly calling them and getting them to do things makes them wonder if they’re dating a child.
]]>Most psychologist agree that the important parts of someone’s personality has formed by the time they are 6 years old. Of course there is always room for change but as a child ages beyond those 6 years making corrections gets increasingly harder the older the child gets.
Getting started early on with the clear cut rules you want your child to live under is the best possible way to avoid problems down the road.
Set the Boundaries
It may seem unusual to set boundaries for a 6 month old baby, but children learn very early on what is acceptable and what is not. Babies at this age really do not need a lot of correction but clear cut expectations will be useful shortly down the line.
For example meals should be eaten at specific times in the high chair. Getting your child use to a schedule early on and sitting in a high chair is a form of discipline. Children thrive in environments that are structured.
By the time baby is a year old they will know that they eat certain meals at certain times and they get into their seat to participate in family meals.
Two Years and Beyond
Children start to really flex their independence at the age of 2 this is the time that consequences have to be implemented to correct unwanted behavior. Negative behavior has to be immediately dealt with. At the age of two children do not understand “wait till we get home”. If the negative behavior is not corrected immediately they tend to forget what happened when you try to deal with it later.
Time out is a great way to discipline a child as young as two. Time out works best when you utilize it in age appropriate increments. So if your two year old is misbehaving you make them sit out whatever activity for two minutes.
You can implement time out no matter where you are, grocery stores, the playground, the mall where ever you are you can find a place to have your child sit for one minute for each year of age.
Corporal Punishment
While some people still ascribe to “spare the rod spoil the child” most experts agree if you want to raise a reasonable child than spankings typically are not the way to go. Many experts believe if you hit your child the only thing you are teaching your child is to hit when they are angry or when something is not going their way. Corporal punishment should not be an option.
If you start behavior corrections like time out and restriction from playing with a favorite toy you will have a much greater impact!
]]>You Alienate Your Friends
If you regularly complain, you’ll find that your friends see you as a complainer. They’ll start turning away from you as you alienate them.
If you complain about one friend to another, she may wonder what you say about her behind her back. It’s best to stop and save your friendships.
It Doesn’t Help Your Day
Complaining about something doesn’t stop your day from happening around you. By complaining, you’ll actually make it harder to do the rest of your tasks and this will make you more stressed. It’s a constant cycle that will be difficult to get out of.
The best thing you can do is shrug off a situation, move on and get on with the rest of the things you have planned during the day. The only time to really bother about it is if it is life-threatening and someone genuinely is at fault for that.
You Can’t Find Ways to Deal with Something
You spend so much time complaining about an incident that you don’t find ways of dealing with it. Someone may have swiped your car and knocked the wing mirror off, without leaving insurance details.
There’s no point complaining about it happening. You might as well just get on with replacing it.
It Makes Everything Else Seem Like a Big Day
Complaining about a small thing has a ripple effect. Everything else that goes wrong just gets bigger and bigger and it becomes a tidal wave. There’s no need to let it all get like this.
By getting on with something, you’ll find that the ripple is smaller and there’s no big blow out at the end.
People Stop Listening to You
If you regularly complain about things, it becomes less effective. People won’t take you as seriously as they would if you don’t often complain about something.
They will stop listening and you’ll find that you have no one to complain to about something.
It Clutters Your Life
Your life soon becomes cluttered with problems that you’ve not done anything about these.
They can be really small but you feel like they are much bigger and harder to deal with. This affects everything about you.
You Make a Bad Role Model
Your children will see that complaining is just a normal thing to do. They become complainers too because you’re a bad role model.
It will annoy you but telling them to stop makes you a hypocrite and they’re less likely to listen to you.
You need to stop complaining and show your children that there is another way to handle a situation.
]]>Getting the Same Opportunities as Men
The main factor is that women get the same opportunities as men. That doesn’t mean they have to take them or that they will definitely be chosen over men—it depends on who the better candidate is.
There is a lot of talk about business owners being forced to hire a set number of women but this isn’t helping feminism!
Being Able to Speak Out
Feminism is giving women the ability to speak out. It could be through a vote, which the Suffragettes fought hard for, or it could be just by calling the police when something happens.
Whichever way it is, while speaking out, the women need to be taken seriously. If not, women hold no power and the rallies and protests in the 1900s really were for nothing.
Getting the Right to Choose
Some women prefer to stay at home and cook and clean. Other women want to go out and teach children. There are some women who want the right to do a “man’s job”.
Feminism is all about having the right to choose what you want to do with your life. Choosing to raise the children isn’t a step back; for some it’s their passion and they have a right to do that!
It Doesn’t Mean Hating Men!
Too many people are focused on the view that to be a feminist you have to hate men. This simply isn’t true. A feminist is someone who believes women should have an equal footing in life.
They want an equal 50/50 split in the home, at work and just in general. If they hated men, they’d want to take over a man’s role.
Girls Can Play with Any Toys
The world seems to split toys between girls and boys. Girls can’t play with action figures and trucks; they need to play with Barbies and dollies.
Feminism is the fight for girls to play with any toy that they want and not have a label attached to them.
It Changes with the Times
In the early 1900s, it was all about getting the right to vote. That introduced the right for women over 30 to vote. That gradually changed until both men and women of 18 could vote.
Feminism has changed over time and there are new protests and rallies regularly. It’s important to remember this and consider the society lived in.
It Depends on the Person
Depending on the person you talk to, you will hear a different answer. There are lots of ways that people interpret feminism, which is why some believe it means to hate men and stay at home mums are a step backwards.
It’s important to focus on the true meaning behind it and not on the personal agendas that people try to push through.
]]>All too often your true identities are skewed because you are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister or someone’s wife. Others see your self-worth as predetermined by your for-parents. Sometime they are right and sometimes they are wrong but you should not aspire to have values based on others but embrace your own belief system though it may be shaped through your own experiences and individuality.
Your environment plays a pertinent roll in the structuring of who you are but is that environment the end all and be all of your life? Change your environment and hence change your life. Life in the city is hectic, a hassle but the pace in the country is considerably slower and more deliberate. No obtuse drivers and obnoxious traffic situations, slowdown in the pace of work-life and an immediate environmental change.
Maybe thats easier said than done. Is it? Can you see your way out of your present undesirable situation? Whether it is a relationship, job or living situation, there is always a better way, a different choice; but it’s your choice.
No one promise it will be easy or simple. No one promised it would be quick but if you have conviction it can happen.
Finding yourself is not about how much money you make or how many treasures you can store but what inherently makes you …..You.
Sit down, take a moment….what have you done in your life so far? Who have you helped outside of your family and friends? Sometime it takes such a small gesture to start the ball rolling. Donate an item of clothing that you no longer need. Give a few dollars to that beggar on the street so he can buy a meal. You don’t have to be a girl scout to make the lives of some unfortunate person a little better.
I can guarantee that you will have a spring in your step and a smile on your lips. It’s such a wonderful feeling to do something nice for someone or make a sacrifice. Do it not because I told you to do so, not because you are expecting rewards in return but because the inherent goodness in all of us needs to shine through in this chaotic world.
Sometimes it may takes years, sometimes it may come in an instant but you will find your true purpose, you will find who you are. Do not be contented to be categorized and painted with the all-inclusive brush. Stand up and stand out although you might be redeculed for it and always live by the golden rule; do unto others and you will have them do unto you.
]]>Focus on Your Posture
Walk talk and be confident. A good posture is great for showing that you mean business so you get the promotions, the jobs and the men.
It will also help you build strong muscles so you can fight off the process of aging and feel better physically as well as emotionally.
You also look better since you’re not slouched over. Focus on your posture when sitting and standing.
Enjoy Yourself Right Now
Remember that you need to feel good about yourself to look great but it can be hard to feel good if you don’t look it. The trick is to think about something positive. Focus on the good things about you.
Do you have great eyes? Maybe your hair shines. It could even be your personality or your brains! Make a list of the things that are good about you so you can highlight them on a daily basis.
Listen to Yourself and Improve Your Voice
Aging brings a deeper voice. If you’re not happy with the way that you sound, you may fear talking in public. Listen to your voice and make some changes so it sounds the way that you want it to.
Younger people talk with a higher pitch and often more excitement; although the lower pitch is has more authority and is more professional.
Listen to the Music You Love
Put on the tracks that you like to listen to. This releases the happy hormone –endorphins—which will help you feel better and look great.
Put your iPod on while walking around outside or have the radio turned up on a morning to start your day with something great.
Condition and Care for Your Hair
There’s nothing to say that you can’t have long hair, whatever your age. The trick is to make sure it looks great. Care for your hair every day.
Condition it to help avoid the tangles and only wash it as often as you need to. Avoid using heat or have heat protection if you really must.
Do More Exercise
Exercise is the best thing to look and feel good. It may seem like hard work at first but it will release endorphins so you feel happier by the end.
You’ll also help yourself look great by boosting your metabolism and burning more calories.
Have More Sex!
Apparently this is the best way to improve your looks and how you feel about yourself.
It’s not the action but the orgasms afterwards that really help. At the same time, think of all the exercise you’re getting!
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