Feeling like you are effective and that what you do in life is very important. Having approval from your peers is one of the things that helps you feel effective. There is a huge debate that drones on an on among women.
There is an underlying struggle among two sets of women. You have the career women that have children and you have the “stay at home mom” each may not say it out loud but they whisper behind each other’s back that the other is not doing things the right way.
The Guilt Factor
Both sides of “team raise your kid” have a certain amount of guilt factor going on. If you stay at home and take care of your children your finances may be a struggle. If you go to work your finances are in much better shape but you have the guilt of leaving your kids in day care.
Many women are faced with this scenario, do you take the pay cut and stay home or do you go back to work and continue to live the lifestyle your family is used to? If you stay at home will you have enough money to pay bills and save for college? If you go back to work will it negatively affect your child?
There is no correct answer. Kids are resilient. Whether you stay home with them or they have to go to daycare they will survive. It is mom that suffers the most.
A lot of women have sour grapes toward other women. When you make the choice to stay home with your children you are often faced with the “when are you going back to work” question over and over again. A lot of people still do not look at raising a family as a valid occupation.
Typically the biggest critics of stay at home mothers are other women. There is a component of jealousy there because staying at home does seem to be somewhat of a luxury to the woman that has to get up every day and leave home.
Working mothers are often made to feel guilty when work keeps them away from school functions or other events that children are involved in.
On the other side of the coin is the mom that stays home and sacrifices her professional life for her children, she too is experiencing a certain amount of jealousy because her working mom friends go out to lunch and get to have a professional life.
The Right Way
There is a good side and a bad side to every choice. Ultimately there is no wrong and no right way to raise your children. You have to do what is right for your family. Women should work harder at supporting each other and encourage personal choice.
After all is said and done that is what the ladies before us fought so hard for. Equal rights means that you have choices and that you can choose what it is that is right for you!