It is one thing when your husband has a cold or the flu having to deal with the situation it is a completely different thing when you have to take care of your spouse because they have a terminal illness or a chronic condition.
It can be absolutely daunting to have to deal with being the primary care provider on your own. Between medical appointments and taking care of your home it leaves very little time for yourself. No matter how you try you can end up feeling resentful if you do not take out time for yourself.
As a primary care giver in any situation (but especially when it is your spouse you are caring for) you need to make time for yourself.
The emotional turmoil of having someone so close sick is enough strain on your wellbeing, than you have to add all the other factors. If you have children, dogs, cats whatever you are now picking up whatever slack there is from your spouse as well. It can be impossible to do it all alone.
Staying healthy and being a bit selfish at times is the only way you can take good care of everyone else in your life. One way you can get some much needed down time is by asking for help. It is hard sometimes to reach out to people and ask for assistance but it is fine to do.
If you do not have family members to rely on, you can ask a close friend or neighbor if they can help you with the kids or even a ride to a medical appointment for your spouse. A good way to go about figuring out who to ask for help is to think about the people that you would not mind lending a hand to and ask them!
Trying to do it all will not work out well. You will either wind up sick yourself or bitter.
If you are in a position to do so, hire someone to help you. You do not need to bring someone in full time maybe someone a few afternoons a week for just a couple of hours so you can get some much needed me time in.
You can hire a college student to come and help with the kids a few hours a couple of times a week. Or treat yourself to a monthly housekeeping service to help you catch up with chores. If money is a concern call to local universities and ask for contact information for civic clubs at the school that may be willing to take on your family as a project, you may get some free yard work out of the deal.
The bottom line is when you are the primary care giver for a sick spouse, the person that you would normally lean on is just not available because they are the sick one so you need to form your own support group.