You’ll hear that communication is essential if you want a strong and healthy relationship. It’s all well and good saying it, but how do you know whether you’re communicating effectively? You may talk all the time, but that doesn’t mean you’re on the way to a healthy and good relationship. Here are some tips to make sure your communication is as effective as possible.
Listen to Your Partner
Talking isn’t the only thing you should be doing. When it comes to communicating, you need to listen to what your partner is saying to you. He’s letting you know his feelings and helping you understand what he would like to gain out of the relationship with you. Listening doesn’t have to be hard. Turn off the TV and give him your undivided attention.
“What I Hear You Saying…”
A common psychological trick is to repeat the words that the other person is saying. It lets your partner know you’re listening and you are willing to work at things.
Start with “what I hear you saying is…” and then repeat. He can understand how it sounds to you and explain it in a different way if he doesn’t quite get his point across.
Stay Calm and Collected
Discussions can turn into arguments. While you want to avoid this as much as possible, it’s not always easy. Don’t rise to the argument if he starts shouting. Remain calm and collected. It will help him calm down and lower his voice.
Don’t just walk away, unless you’ve already warned him that you’re going to walk away if he starts shouting. It will just agitate him more if you do.
Express Your Own Feelings
Remember the conversation can’t be one-sided. So, in the way that he can’t do all the listening, he also can’t do all the talking. You need to express your own feelings, so he understands what you think about a specific situation.
It could be about something very miniscule, but that small thing could have a knock-on effect in your life. Don’t assume he understands how you feel. If you don’t understand his then chances are he has no idea about you.
Accept You May Need Some Space
After talking, you may both need some space to process everything you’ve talked about. Accept this and give each other that necessary space. Don’t get annoyed at him for switching on the TV.
He may need the background noise while he goes through everything in his bed.
Avoid Threatening Behaviour
It’s really easy to start accusing him of things. You may be annoyed that he feels something about you that isn’t true. Instead of calling him out on it or getting angry, accept that these are his feelings. It’s up to you to take that in and make changes calmly.
This is really important when handling difficult subjects where the other person is likely to feel uneasy about the conversation anyway. If you start to get threatening, he’s not going to want to talk to you about anything.