Let’s Talk About Sex!

Having a conversation with your daughter about sex can be uncomfortable if you wait too long. The right time to talk to your daughter about sex is all the time. Children always ask where they came from, it is natural to want to know.

How you start with this simple question can effect how future conversations are held.

Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to sex talk but of course it needs to be age appropriate conversations. The ultimate goal is to build a trusting relationship with your daughter so that she feels comfortable talking to you about anything including sex.

Making up stories about storks and other stories of a child’s origin are cute but they are quickly discovered as not necessarily the truth which can confuse a child. Using age appropriate language like “mommy and daddy love each other so much that we wanted to have a baby”. This usually satisfies young minds, followed up with you grew in mommy’s belly, keeps things honest and understandable.

Disseminating Information

Young women have to know about their bodies, they have to understand their responsibility for their body and they should understand that saying “no” is always acceptable. You want your daughter empowered to feel confident in her own skin and to be able to have a strong self-worth.

One of the ways you can insure that your daughter will be empowered is with information. Frank discussion about sex and sexual feelings with your daughter is a necessity when they are young teens. Studies have shown over and over again that well informed teens wait longer to have sex.

Knowledge is power! It can be initially uncomfortable to discuss with your child, it can be hard to think of your daughter as a sexual being but coming to terms with the idea that your daughter will someday have a sexual relationship will make the rest easier.

Sex and Maturity

One point of emphasis should be that sex is pleasurable when you are mature enough to handle all the baggage that comes along with a sexual relationship. Pregnancy, infidelity, sexually transmitted diseases, family planning should all be a part of the conversation.

Talking about what you want for her and your expectations of how she behaves as she matures is also a topic that many parents avoid. Saying “don’t do it till you are married” is not enough and in many cases completely unrealistic.

There are so many social pressures that a young woman has to deal with a lot earlier than the previous generation did that helping your daughter stay grounded is dependent on your support and that support has to come in honest discussion.

If you open up the communication pipe from very early on in her life she will value your opinion above all others and will trust you with all of her feelings and thoughts! You want your daughter to be able to come to you with anything, including questions about sex!

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