Why You Should Take Your Husband’s Last Name

Why You Should Take Your Husband’s Last Name

Are you getting married? You may be thinking about whether you really need to take your husband’s last name, or whether it is worth keeping your own. There are many benefits to taking your husbands. This is even better than hyphenating your name.

Your Husband Wants You to Do It

He may not tell you, but your husband wants you to take his last name. He will tell you that he’s fine with you keeping your own, but deep down it does matter. By taking his last name, you’re showing him that you want to be connected to him on paper as well as emotionally.

It Makes Paperwork and Transactions Easier

couple-financesWhether you’re opening a joint bank account or applying for a mortgage, the people handling this paperwork will assume that you share a last name.

It makes it trickier when you have to get them to change everything because you noticed what they were doing when it was too late. It takes time to have all the correction made, which can slow down various business transactions.

Think About Your Children

Are you going to hyphenate your children’s last name or will they take your husband’s? Either way, it’s going to be confusing for them when they grow up with a mum and dad with a different last name.

It leads to a lot of questions for them, and they’ll then come to you for the answers. It’s simply easier for the whole family for you to take his last night.

It Creates Unity Between You

Remember your husband loves it because you should you’re becoming one? Well, having the same last name creates unity for everyone around you. They will just start asking why you have different last names, and it can make them question your relationship. After a while, you find yourself explaining without people even asking you about it.

The In-Laws Get Annoyed

mother-in-law-conflictDo you really want to add another reason for the in-laws to be annoyed about you or question your decisions?

Your in-laws will expect you to take their name, unless they’ve decided to follow the modern-day trends. They will start questioning your unity and whether you really love their son. It really is just easier to handle them.

It’s the Traditional Thing to Do

If you like tradition, you’ll know that taking his surname is the traditional thing to do.

People expect you to do this, especially if you follow other traditions in your life. Do you really want to be inconsistent in your life?

Companies Make It as Easy as Possible

It’s not that hard to change your name, so you can’t use it as an excuse. Companies expect women to do this when they get married, so they make it as easy as possible.

All they ask for is to see your marriage certificate, and most will keep it free to do. Only government firms will consider charging, but even they try to keep it affordable and free where possible.

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  • You’re Not Left Yet

    He’s free to take mine if he so-chooses.

    His parents are progressives (so is he)- none of them, for instance, would put forward “tradition” as an actual justification for doing something.

    “Are the children going to have a hyphenated last name or take your husband’s?”

    They would have mine, of course. I’m their mother, after all. IF we choose to have them. Not everyone is this stuck in the fifties.

    So sad, that you have this backward an opinion of men and heterosexual relationships generally.

  • Bastet

    Omfg! When is this, 1914? You can have your sexist rubbish if you want but hands off telling the rest of us to hark on back to a time when a woman was owned by her father, thus having his last name until he ‘gave her away’ and she was owned by her husband, thus having his last name. F that! I own me.

  • Alexandria Ingham

    Sorry you both found it insulting. Personally I took my husband’s last name, although I’ve kept my maiden name for professional uses. Do I agree with all the points above? No. Do I agree with some of them? Yes!

    When I’ve spoken to other women who have chosen to take their husband’s last names, they’ve all given me these or variations on these reasons. They’re not excuses. Your “arguably” point is arbitrary just because you don’t agree with them. They are genuine reasons.

    We actually had our daughter before we married and I chose to give her my husband’s surname. Granted, we knew we were going to marry and I would be taking that, but if that wasn’t the case I’d have chosen to double-barrel it. To only give your child one surname because he/she is your child, is making it very clear that you don’t have any care about his/her father’s view on that. Now, some women don’t because the man is out of their lives, but if the father is in the picture and you’re not even willing to discuss it then it’s taking the whole feminism thing too far.

    I definitely don’t have a backward opinion of men and heterosexual relationships. I’m a 27-year-old female with a very modern view of equality. You’ll actually find there will be an article in a few days about why women shouldn’t take their husband’s last name. You see, I’m looking at it from both sides and there will be some people not too sure and will want to hear the reasons why they should take the surname and why they shouldn’t. This is simply covering the former.

    • Bastet

      It’s not taking feminism too far at all. Equality is both people with equal right to love and want their own identity. Taking it too far would be one partner (male or female) demanding the other (male or female) give up their identity and take on the partners name. Disrespect is expecting the other person give up their identity without even thinking it may be an issue.

      The fact you believe an article on why women should give up their identities is balanced by women shouldn’t speaks volumes. Actually, balance would be an article on why a man or a woman would choose to take on their partner surname and why couples choose to retain their own names.

  • Virginia

    I should do this because HE wants me to? I don’t get a say in this? It just so happens that I did, but I made it my own. Considering there is a large number of divorces in this country, a name doesn’t guarantee anything. And people have just as much trouble if there is a divorce careerwise as when not taking a husband’s name when getting married.

    Case in point: Tina Turner. She was married to Ike Turner,and he sued her for using his name when they divorced. But it was her name as well, and she built her career on it. She wasn’t going to give it up, because it meant more than just a name.

    I am not going to do anything just because HE wants me to. I have to have a say in this, too. It is, after all, MY life. MY name.

    And like a previous poster said, he can take my name if he wants.

    And how about homosexual couples? The most famous gay couple is George and Brad Takei. There had to be an agreement about names, and I am sure that if Brad wanted to keep his surname, that would have entered into the conversation. And gay couples have had, for such a long time, been forbidden to marry, that such couples have had separate names even though their hearts were as one when they stayed together.

    In this day and age, couples can think for themselves. They don’t need for other busybodies (LIKE YOU!) meddling in their lives.