No one likes to dump someone. Breaking up is hard to do especially when you are the one that wants out. It is hard to hurt someone’s feelings but it is actual a sign of mercy to break up when you are not happy. Breaking up is akin to pulling off a band aid. If you try to peel off the band aid it will hurt more and for a longer period of time.
If you just rip off the band aid in one quick action it hurts for that instant but it is not prolonged and you can get on with things. Ending a relationship should be just like ripping the band aid off.
A lot of times people that should be broken up decide on a “break” instead. The break is ridiculous. Unless you are married taking a reprieve from your relationship is really code for I want to continue to fish to see what else is out there AND I want to keep you on the back burner just in case nothing else bites.
This is a painful mistake to make. If you are with someone and you feel like they may not be the one for you, let them go. Do not hang onto them in case nothing better comes along. Taking a break is just a delay for the inevitable. It causes more drama than it is worth.
There are couples that lay down boundaries for their “break” but they never work. Even the best thought out “break” winds up with someone being hurt.
It is a very rare relationship that can make the transition from lovers to friends. Of course if there were a few dates and neither of you were really into the relationship than moving on to a binding friendship is not very likely either.
Typically the friends we choose are similar to our relationship choices. We look for the same qualities in friends as we do lovers so when a relationship goes south typically those friendship qualities are not really present or you would not be breaking up in the first place.
Just rip the band off and don’t promise friendship. If it works out where you can become down the road, great but for the time being the less contact the better for everyone involved. Men tend to interpret kindness for devotion.
Don’t call to check on your ex. This can be interpreted as an open door for getting back together. If you are truly done it is time to just let it go, calling to check on your ex just prolongs the pain for everyone. It is always best to say your good byes than move forward!
Of course it does not have to be all or nothing but finding that balance between expressing your concern and having that concern being misinterpreted is a close call and hard to determine whether you are doing more harm than good!